The Morning After a Dawkins Lecture (the subsequent deep thoughts)

I’m moving on to a phase of my life where I’m not sure what my next goal is. When I worked at the grocery store, I had at least 3 goals: become boss, move somewhere and become the boss, or get a new job. I achieved that goal in December (I got a new job). Shortly after I did that, I achieved two huge life goals with an unbelievable amount of ease (we bought our house and got our dog. Is it bad/weird that getting a dog was a life goal for me?). So now, here I sit, mostly content, with nowhere really to go. My eyes are on argentina, that’s an achievable goal. I’ll start planning now, saving now, and in one year, away we’ll go. When we get home, then what? Pat mentioned Nepal and India, so I’ll plan that trip and in a year or so, we’ll go.

It’s too easy for my next life goal to be babies. What do I want for me, and only me? Babies are for us, our families. Do I want to work here forever and kinda mosey on up the ranks? Do I want to teach catholic high school girls biology (an idea that bubbles into my mind frequently [Catholic school girls because they should behave better than those public school bastards like me])? Do I want to get my masters and risk being pushed around by a professor for years? Do I just travel travel travel and soak up the world? what is acceptable? For the first time in years upon years, I have tons of time to do whatever I want and I have no idea what that is. Travel is what comes to mind first. But what do I do when we're in between trips, plan the trips?? I'm getting irritated with the cold weather and frustrated. I want to be outside and watch my birds (and be watched by them), watch the puppy play and dig, plant food and flowers, but Nebraska keeps holding me back. I was so delighted with Dawkins' explanation of how the "Why" question is so pointless in terms of biology/evolution. I'll keep that thought at the forefront. The why is nonexistant. I am here to eat, create new life, and eventually, create soil.

I also blame Dawkins for these thoughts. His lecture was endearing to me and a gentle reminder of why I love biology and science. Why I am so content with never going to church. Husband and I had a nice discussion of how we will fit church into our childrens' lives. We are both well aware of how important our (forced) church going formed us and influenced us when we were younger, but we've never felt deeply rooted in the faith. We decided that if nothing else, we should take them there and let them experience church-going for cultural reasons. It is something that is inherently important to our families and has been for a very, very long time. It is also important to arm them with the knowledge of the Bible so they can understand where fundamentalists get their munition and how much it permeates the United States at this time. I hope we will be so wise as to expose them to other faiths and beliefs (also, ourselves as we have no experience with any other faith outside of Christianity).

My life is mine and I need to remember that I am here to consume, create, and disappear back into the blackness where I came from. I need to be kind, be well, eat well, and I'll be just fine.